Stuck In The Middle Podcast


Redefining Your Why

There comes a time... when we heed a certain call, when the… 

Sounds like the lyrics to a song, right? Yes it is, and how does it apply to redefining your why? Well there truly comes a time when we heed a certain call to follow our purpose. While on this journey, there may come a time when we wonder why we started, if that is what we should be doing in the first place and if to keep going or to throw in the towel. What typically gets us started is “The Why,” meanwhile “The What” which is usually passion, fuels the journey. In other words; inspiration from others could get us started, persistence with passion keeps us going when roadblocks show up while purpose and vision give us something to journey towards.


There may come a time when we feel like throwing in the towel. I got to a point where I did not feel like doing certain things that I frequently did. Some of which include reading, writing, mindful eating and exercise. What threw me off track was that, I was not getting some “expected outcomes.” It is said, our greatest lessons come from our most challenging moments. While being off track, I learned some new things one of which was that some “healthy foods” could produce adverse effects in our bodies such as increased inflammation depending on our body type... Well let’s not turn this blog post into some health and fitness sermon…

There were moments I mentally wanted to do those things (read, write and mindful eating/exercise) but I seldom got to follow through physically. I was very much aware of the power of the mind; that everything begins and ends in the mind. I remember reflecting on a previous blog post; What is Your Why, but a reminder of “my why” did not seem to reboot my system nor motivate me to get back to doing those things as often as I previously did. So how did I navigate those moments? 

Somehow, I sparingly listened to audiobooks which is more passive than reading which actively engages the brain. I recently listened to a book titled The Road to CharactebyDavid Brooks which in a nutshelldescribes two types of people in the world; Adam 1 and Adam 2.Adam 1wants to conquer the world…. Adam 2wants to obey a calling and serve the world. Adam 1asks how things work, Adam 2asks why things exist and what ultimately we're here for."After which I listened to Rich Dad Poor Dadby Robert T. Kiyosakiwhere a phrase at the very beginning of the book caught my attention. “I can’t afford it versushow can I afford it?” The first phrase shuts your brain down and closes your mind from opportunities while the second opens your mind up to welcome ideas.


I had an “ah ha” moment (in Oprah’s voice) when I heard that. I paused and replayed that line twice. I thought to myself, what if I rephrase my why? How about I redefine my why? Maybe my why was phrased such that it kept me going only for so long that I got stuck. Maybe the way I initially defined it with its “expected outcomes” is what is limiting me. In this moment of reflection, other things came to mind. Some of which are; I was recently given the opportunity to share my thoughts on the importance and strength in silence based on what I've read, learned, applied and experienced. Also, I came across a PowerPoint presentation I did while in my last year of graduate school (which wasn't for a grade) to present to first year college students in a research-based class. Oh wait! Did I mention that public speaking makes my nerves shrink? Well, along the same lines, I recently found myself in the spotlight which I dread but in all the above-mentioned instances, the feedback was worth the attempt. So, I set out to redefine my why…

Redefining our why could be seen as rebranding in the business world. In redefining or rebranding, the fundamentals of the why may stay the same while the surface is tweaked to give us that feeling of rejuvenation. Take for example, when a home is being remodeled, very seldom is the foundation demolished, most of the changes that occur is to the walls, floors, countertops and paint. In the business world, rebranding is said to take place on an average between 5-7 years or 7 to 10 years. This is to allow time to assess the outcome of the change. With regards to redefining our why in terms of personal habits or lifestyle choices which could in turn affect our business, it is suggested that it takes about 21 to 30 days to form a new habit.


Pic of redefining why...

So how can one go about redefining their why? In my opinion, it isn't a one size fits all. However, I think we first need to acknowledge that something(s) aren't producing the expected outcomes and need to change. Then review our why and see if we need to rephrase or redefine, keep an open mind and be willing to change. Then what follows next is based on what we open our minds to receive. For me, I took long walks where I got insights and inspirations from the scenery, I listened to books from a different category than I would typically listen to which gave me a different point of view on certain aspects, I attended my very first boot camp organized by Work With Your Body(previously Health Up with Tatiana) who has been a gueston the Sitmpod. There I met people who shared their experiences/challenges and recommendations by Fit Mom Fixwho has also been a guest on the podcast. I attended events where people from different walks of life shared their stories which gave me a different perspective. These events were; Mission Ball organized by the founder of Generosity global who has been a gueston the Sitmpod and Mamipikin Talksorganized by founder of No Mamipikin Left Behindwho has been on the Sitmpod twice.

So, if you feel “stuck” in an area of your life, try redefining your why one aspect at a time and give at least 21-30 days to assess the outcomes. Trying to do too much at once could be overwhelming and will make it difficult to assess and pinpoint what is working and what isn’t. “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again”~Thomas H. Palmer.