My PRODUCTIVITY After Becoming a DAD.

Firstly, Happy Father’s Day 2023 to all the Dads! #DadGang

I don’t know, maybe a better title would have been “My Quick Thoughts After Two Months as a Dad” ? See my previous post and you tell me :)

Anyway, I would definitely put myself in the “having kids helped me get my act together” group.
Even though it aches me to admit it, before having children I was drifting. My life was comfortable, but I was reaching a professional and personal plateau.
Even though I definitely have less time now, I am more efficient and able to say no to people and things with ease.

I should also add that my wife is an awesome mother and is very supportive partner.

As you may or may not know, we welcomed our first child a little over two months ago. In addition, I run a YouTube channel, have a full-time job, some side businesses, and I’m a husband. So its easy to see how I'm up to my eye balls with responsibilities because, yes, I’d absolutely argue each of those items individually can be a full time job on its own.

I can definitely understand the fear of having to pause pursuing all your passions because having kids put you in that corner of all responsibility for them and nothing else. You go to work to earn a living to provide for them and come home to begin taking care of their needs with no extra time to pursue side hustles like your Etsy shop business, for example.

The idea of ambition after having kids is a fascinating discourse. I don’t believe my ambition or productivity has diminished. As a matter of fact it has been amplified. I suppose that's a good thing, I'm not entirely sure. I place a higher value on time. My goals for life are much more distinct now. For me, having children caused a significant shift in risk tolerance.

One thing I’ve observed is that some people prioritize other things above their work to the point that it suffers. One of the issues is having too many children or simply not distributing tasks between spouses adequately. You might not see it from the outside looking in, but everyone you work with does.

Somebody might argue, “I am driven to get my life steady by becoming an accountant, for example, at the age of 25, and having children is not something I am considering at the moment.” They might think “after I turn 32, I want to have children then if I so choose.”

They are motivated to grow personally in hopes that becoming older won’t make it difficult is certainly plausible but hope is not a strategy. And while I am not here to advocate for being a dad at all cost or by force, I think its a blessing and does not impair life in any shape or form. In fact it clears a lot of things up.

Don’t wait — try now. If you want to have children, then go ahead and do it; don’t allow lack of funds be an excuse (having several children is another story). But if you do, think of a strategy to obtain additional funding to support it. But don’t sacrifice your quality of life to advance your career.

So how have I managed to stay productive while being a father to a newborn? Firstly, I have learned to just make time for it.

I find myself putting my cell phone down and outside of my office for one to two hour chunks of time to get stuff done. This is mostly when my kid is asleep or hanging out with mom. This works only when scheduled and communicated with your partner. That way you can then be more present when you are with your kids and doing parental activities or spending quality time. If its important to you, then there is time.

Secondly, I have learned to just give up some stuff. The power of saying ‘No’ is very effective. Listen, I love watching sports and right around this time is the thick of one of the most exiting games ever invented, NBA playoffs. If I have time to be productive on my YouTube channel or side business and on the other hand I could have just been watching a Game one in the Eastern Conference first round playoffs between two teams I don’t really care about, then The TV is not getting turned on. In the same regard, even though I didn't quite hand out much with friends without a family, I have learned to just say no and pick the most important of functions to show my face. Its just that simple. I’ll definitely come to your birthday or engagement party but I'm not going to brunch with you 3 Sundays in a month!

Thirdly, I have learned to get some sleep. If you know me you know I already love taking naps and going to bed as early as 9:30pm. But because sleep and productivity are closely related, it’s crucial to take advantage of any chance to get some shut-eye that does present itself. Chronic sleep deprivation makes it more difficult to focus, make decisions wisely, think creatively, and maintain overall work performance. So maintaining the bedroom as a sleep sanctuary, developing a wind-down time for bed, and minding the caffeine intake have been a good practice.

Lastly, I'll just say without a supportive spouse none of this works as intended and all the time. Shout out to my wife.

Having kids might discourage ambition, I hate to admit it. I’ve always been someone who is ambitious. That phrase hurts my heart to read in writing. I try to escape from it. But if there was nothing substantial there, why would I flinch? Once you have children, it is inevitable that you will care more about them than you do about yourself. Additionally, it’s a zero-sum game with attention. You can only focus your attention on one thought at a time. Once you have kids, it will usually be your kids, so your current endeavor won’t be as regularly in the news.

However, I think i can confidently say when you have children, life is just getting started.